Category Archives: Internal
Responding to What Moves Us – How to Create Change
This holiday season finds us in a mix of tumultuous world events, tragedies and uncertainties. There’s anger, frustration, blame and arrogance over the particular problems that have pierced through our day-to-day lives and rifled our awareness. We are roused to action or dowsed into hopelessness. We see and feel the pain that gets through our filters and finds a way to touch us. That pain might be for Newtown. It might be for the children dying in Afghanistan. It might be for the Aids victims in Africa. It might be for our own families, friends, coworkers. Or for people whom we know suffer deeply, but remain invisible and misunderstood to most.
Regardless of what it is, what touches us, does so for a reason.
We are connected in different ways to different pain and circumstances around the world. This connectedness spans across space and time, culture and experience. It bridges centuries of lifetimes, past lives, and springs from a connection between spirits. Those connections may have been formed long before we arrived for this present term on earth.
We are affected by the things that have our name on them.
How or why our name is written on them we may not know. It may not make sense. The connections may seem illogical. After all, who knows why a heart responds to a tragedy a world away, but is not moved by the murder victim reported on the local nightly news? Who knows what it is that calls out to us, sometimes so sharply, with such conviction, that it motivates us to actually do something? Whatever that something might be.
Some may say we are simply inundated with reports of all that’s wrong around the world and that we self-filter because we cannot bear the weight of it all.
I think it’s more than that.
I think what moves us does so because as humans, we are one. But at the same time, we are not all called to respond to the same tragedy or situations.
We are called to listen to what moves us and respond to that.
Not carry the whole world. Just our part of it. The parts that have our name written on them. And to trust that as we do our part, other souls are doing theirs. We are one. One being, moving in different forms. Tending to our corners of the garden. As you carry your part of the world, remember to focus on what you do want to see happen. Don’t fight against. Fighting against is never as effective as fighting for something. We get more of what we focus on. We experience more of what we focus on. So choose your focus carefully.
As I’m writing this, the thought keeps coming back: Yes, but what about making a BIG difference? What about stepping out boldly, taking big risks, sacrificing, doing something amazing that changes the course of millions of lives? What about that? Shouldn’t you be advocating that?
Fifteen years ago, I would have said “absolutely.” But now, like so many, I’m a wife, mother, teacher, writer, carrying various threads of a well-woven life that cannot be dropped by a single passion without implicating and altering the lives of others. Living a life that makes a difference is no longer as simple as giving up everything you own and moving to a far away culture and serving there. It’s far more complicated than that. As it is for most of us who are married and have children.
I’m not sure, either, that anyone who did change the course of millions of lives started out to do so. That change came because one person chose to live their passion, responded to what moved them, and let the momentum of one small action after another, one risk after another, build until millions of lives were engaged and touched.
Should you give up your job, move to another culture? Maybe. If that’s what you feel clearly led to do.
Should you not do something just because you can’t do it “big” enough?
No. That’s why change starts with us. Within us. In our thoughts. Our minds. Our feelings.
In us responding to what moves us.
Change has to be personal for it to be effective. That’s how we human beings work.
One step at a time. One action by one person at a time.
When Mother Teresa was asked, “How do you love the whole world?” She replied, “One person at a time.”
That’s how we change the world.
Managing the Emotional Fabric of Story
Suzanne Kelman wrote a post the other day about falling in “love” with a character. It got me thinking about the emotions that go in and come out of a Story and how we manage that emotional fabric. Now, you may not have fallen in love with your character, but chances are, you’re pretty close to your lead ones. And you should be. The relationships we form with characters have an emotional intimacy to them if for no other reason than the deep trust that exists when characters choose us to tell their stories, then rely on us to help them make it through the telling. Where I digress with many is in the nature of these characters. I do not believe that we “make them up.” I believe characters exist in their own realm.
Whether or not you believe characters are real or made up makes a difference in how you manage the emotional fabric of the story.
Characters Who are Believed In, Are Believable
It’s our job as writers to manage the emotions of the story so that we give audiences something to respond to. If you hold that you are the one “making up” what your characters’ story is, what they do, how they react, who they are, who they used to be, what they say, and ultimately, what they feel, you are missing the real blessing of being a writer (not to mention, working way too hard). You are coercing a story into being. Coercion, even subtly done, leaves a mark of fabrication.
You are also denying yourself the opportunity to let your characters change you. (You aren’t still thinking that your character’s the only one being changed in the story arc, are you?) If you’re making your characters up, you’re keeping them at arm’s length. That’s not where they need to be. Characters need more freedom and respect than that. They need to be able to get into your heart with a realness that isn’t burdened with the constant denial of being “made-up.”
Characters who have your full trust and faith do extraordinary things. Characters who are believed in, are believable. If you suspend your disbelief and let them exist, you’ll see that they guide and direct the story, they respond emotionally and authentically, they decide what they are going to do, when and how. They say what they want to say, far better than you can say it. And they know who they are.
This lends itself to stories that are authentic, that flow, that ring true to the human spirit.
Isn’t that what we want? It’s what we are called to deliver. Emotionally-authentic stories that audiences respond to. Characters so vivid that actors and audiences feel them as breathing, living beings and remember them for years to come.
If you give your characters the sovereignty they need, they’ll give you the story you need.
Move from Controlling to Trusting Characters
If you move from controlling characters to trusting characters, you change the dynamics of how you receive and interpret stories. It becomes less about you, less about writing and more about listening and relating. You move into collaboration with characters. And that’s where you want to be. That’s where the gold is. That’s where your story takes on “a life of its own” because it has a life of its own. You become a witness, a listener, a counselor and therapist. You champion them, you don’t let them take the easy way out, you keep pressing them for more. (And trust me, they’ll push you, too.) You spend a lot of time letting them express themselves, letting them breathe through the hard stuff, letting them take breaks when it cuts too deep, and you listen, listen, listen. (Yes, I know, you’ve heard me say it before. You’ll hear me say it again. It’s the most important skill a writer can have.)
What all of this is doing is allowing you to receive the story. Not create it. Not make it up. Receive it.
It’s fully formed, out there. Your characters know it, though they may not reveal it right off the bat (that’s what the real work of revision is – digging deeper). You receive the story. And because you’ve received a more powerful, authentic story in the first place, you have the emotions you need to guide the story to its most powerful expression.
Manage Emotions on the Page
Managing those emotions on the page comes down to managing which scenes to use in the story. Which dialogue. It’s as much about what not to include as it is about what must be on the page. It’s a judgement call. One you need to seek guidance on from the characters. You have to trust what you know is the heart and soul of the story. Emotion comes from what one longs to express, but doesn’t. It’s not about animating character’s expressions, but knowing what’s in their heart and what they aren’t allowing themselves to reveal. That’s what you put down.
Emotion runs the risk of being too tampered with during revision. Again, you have to know going in what is sacred and untouchable to the core of your story. There are scenes that if changed will change the entire story. It’s like surgery. You cut out the heart, brain, lungs or liver and your patient may be “cured,” but it will also be dead. If you’re collaborating with your characters, they’ll tell you what’s sacred. They’ll work with you to come up with the best way to get the point across. They’ll keep it authentic because they’ll be authentic and you’ll be trusting them for what the story needs.
Manage Emotions in Your Heart
There are tons of books on how to get emotions across to audiences. None of them will help as much as listening to your characters. Let them reveal their story to you first before it ever gets on the page. Which leads me back to Sue’s story of feeling as if she’d fallen in love with a character. We get close to characters. We spend a lot of time with them. We care about them. They trust us with their vulnerabilities. They can have a powerful affect on our emotions. Relationships with them are no less real than any other. They’re simply governed by different laws of dynamics, different realms, different purposes, limitations. Managing those relationships is like any other in our lives.
What can be harder to manage is how character’s emotions affect us. It’s not easy to be a witness to trauma, pain, suffering, heartache. It’s not easy to walk through tough scenes with characters over and over. It’s not easy to know that you’re pushing a character for more than they may be ready to face. That you’re asking them to trust you with their emotional and physical safety. Don’t get me wrong. The stories we write should touch us. They should be hard to get through emotionally. But we serve no one if we fail to take care of ourselves.
Remember What’s Yours and What Isn’t
The lines get blurred. Story. Character. Your life. Loved ones. Past. Present. What hurts. Who hurts. We live in the Seen and Unseen worlds. We feel the emotions of both. We need to remember to differentiate emotions that belong to us from those that don’t. We are not our characters. Our characters are not us. Their pain is theirs. Ours is ours. Empathy is not becoming the vessel of another’s pain. It is honoring their pain while holding them to the truth of their power in Source. We need to let our characters and their stories touch us deeply, but we also need to be touched just as deeply by our own lives in all their beauty, grace and potential.
Ultimately, emotion on the page and screen comes down to letting Story be what is it: a way to engage with what’s in our own hearts.
A reminder that we are, like characters, Spirit.
Let the Blessings Flow
Your life is a gift. Your presence here part of the whole. You are Source Energy and you hold incredible power. You can create your life. Manifest your dreams.
And you can bless.
Yes, bless. I’m not talking about the right of the ordained to sanctify the unholy.
I’m talking about intention. Behind your work, your relationships, your interactions. To bless is to move with the purpose of bringing light, wholeness and grace to someone’s spirit. It’s rooted in the awareness of innate spiritual power, in the belief that we are one and that what happens on the exterior of life manifests from the interior realm.
To bless is to draw a circle of protection and support around a soul, to seek for that soul’s well-being and highest good. It goes beyond prayer. Where prayer asks a Divine Being to intervene, blessing asks the spirit to remember its own power, to move within its own depth of purpose here on earth. Blessing is not merely well-wishes, but a concrete act that has a direct affect upon the one you bless.
What does this have to do with creative life?
Nothing, if you don’t want it to. Everything, if you do. You have the choice to see your purpose in life (and thus your creativity) as a means to bless – or not. You can move toward your dreams with yourself as the center. Or you can move toward your dreams with an eye on how many people you can bless along the way. Either way you have the power to create your dream.
This goes back to what I have said before about how the the process of manifesting dreams and not the end product itself is where we need to create the real meaning of our work. If you move with the intention to bless, and you bless those on your path, your dream opens up an entire realm where the good that you do matters more than the work you achieve. If you walk a path where you focus solely on manifesting your dream, you lose the rich potential that existed for you to do something much bigger than that.
Dreams are part of who we are, part of why we spend these lifetimes here. They’re fun, they keep us focused on moving forward instead of stagnating. But they’re more than that. And you are more than your dream. And you have a deep source of power to weave something bigger and more meaningful in your life than what your dream itself stands for.
Look around you. Look beyond what the people who have the potential to “make your dream come true” can do for you. Bless them. Look deeper than the surface. Look not only at what your manifested dream will do, but also how the process of making it and all the people involved can be blessed. Weave that blessing in from concept to end and beyond. See broader. See deeper. Go for Spirit.
Why? Because you can. Because if you’re going to spend all this time focused on generating a dream into reality, you might as well be generous in the process. But there’s a deeper reason. When you own your power to bless and make a difference in others’ lives, you make a bigger difference in your own. You grow bigger in spirit, you open yourself to new paths of prosperity, you invite a spirit of generosity, goodwill and flow that follows you into every aspect of your life.
We are meant to bless. We are meant to remember that we are Spirit. We are meant to involve Spirit in everything we do.
Take a look inside. Take a look around. It’s not about you. It’s about us all.
So bless and let the blessings flow.
Overcoming Fear
Okay, so let’s talk about fear. And, more importantly, how to overcome fear. “Fortune favors the bold” – I hold true to that. I also hold true to the purpose of this blog, which is to inspire and nurture the human spirit – particularly, the creative’s spirit. I’ve written about fear before, yet sometimes in all of the positive, be strong, own your power stuff, the underside of creative life gets lost. And it may leave you wondering: “well, that’s not my experience, I struggle, I’m scared, you tell me to be bold, but I don’t know how.”
First off, we all struggle. I’m no exception. I wrestle with fear, self-doubt, insecurity. We all do. It’s normal. And, most likely, healthy. It keeps the challenge and the joy of achieving dreams a tangible thing. It reminds us that we’re stretching, growing, expanding, reaching for more. It reinforces the fact that the process of creating – and not the created product – is where the dream is actually lived. It’s in the trenches, muddied down with fear, doubt and the reality that our great big dream is actually a great big dream, where we come face to face with…our greatness.
Greatness scares us more than anything else, it seems. It tempers us from putting ourselves out there in a big way. Keeps us shrinking, contorting ourselves back into confines we’ve outgrown.
I could go on, but no matter how you define fear and the things that scare you, ultimately, it’s what you do about it that counts.
And this is where we struggle. It’s not the words that scare me, but what it means if I am the one that says them. It isn’t the work itself, but what the work means.
What we really wrestle with is our potential. Our beliefs about who we are, our worth, our purpose, our ability to do something that seems (on the side of not having done it yet) so much bigger than we are. We’ve been taught to be small, keep the status quo, stay invisible – because that keeps us safe. But dreams never come true in safety. Dreams come true when we start to believe that we are more powerful and larger than the dream itself.
So what do we do about fear?
There’s no magical wand to poof it away. What fear comes down to is thought. It’s a battle of the mind. And it can only be overcome by identifying what it is that we’re scared of (what feeling we don’t want to feel), untying the knots of thought that lead to fear, then being willing to release them. You can’t will your fear away (not long-term anyway). You have to dig it out, uncover it, let the light of day shine on it and then choose to believe different thoughts than the ones that lead you to fear. It’s work. It takes time. It takes self-reflection.
It also takes being willing to live without fear.
It means being willing to let things be easy. To let yourself be successful. To let yourself shine brightly.
That’s not a popular stance in our society. It’s not popular or well-thought of to have an easy, happy, enjoyable life. It’s not even really acceptable to actually be happy. People enjoy the commiseration of misery, struggle, complaining – why? Because it keeps the belief that life (and art) is hard, should be hard, has to be hard, and thus, we shouldn’t really expect too much from ourselves. Stay small. Stay invisible. Stay safe. No, there’s not much chance of greatness. Try being happy and letting life flow easily and pretty soon people get annoyed with you. Why? Because you’re challenging their status quo. You’re challenging the belief that life doesn’t have to be hard. If you can achieve happiness, then their excuse for not pursuing what lights them up, rubs at their self-awareness. And they take it out on you.
We hold those who “have it all” on a pedestal. There’s a reason for that. A pedestal keeps them out of reach, right? And that means we can take comfort in the distance between us not pursuing our dreams and the obvious fact that they have achieved theirs. This is true dis-empowerment, folks.
No, we have to fight for our dreams. We have to fight our own smallness to let our spirit expand into the greatness it knows is possible for us. No one can fight the battle for us. It’s up to each of us to stake our claim on happiness and own it.
Don’t beat yourself up for the fact that you struggle. As you can see, there are layers upon layers of conditioning that keeps fear alive. Don’t think that you’re alone. Or that those who have walked the path before you have it any easier. The journey to become bigger, to expand, continues at every stage of success. Facing fear is part of it. Claim the blessing of fear, choose to say yes to your dream, to being happy even if those around you aren’t, and think, think, think yourself into faith.
I’ll be right here, fighting the battle alongside you.
Fortune Favors the Bold, So Be Bold
We talk a lot about fear. Doubt. Wondering if we can achieve the great big dreams we set out to achieve. As artists, we’re inclined to discuss these issues, because they are part of the fabric of creative work. And don’t get me wrong, fear serves a purpose. If nothing else, it reminds us that what we are attempting to do has importance – to us and to the world. If it didn’t, then they’d be no reason to fear failing to do it, would there?
Yes, fear is a driver of development – in the artist and in the work.
But where we often stop short is in being bold.
I mean the kind of bold that flings you out into an unknown universe where you either fly or fall. Or learn to fly as you’re falling.
Bold. Taking on more than logic deems sensible.
Bold. Taking a chance on the fact that you just might be more than you’ve ever been.
Bold. Imagining. Saying yes. Doing.
Stepping up in a self-confidence that’s not arrogant, but built on a solid understanding that you embody the Universe in every cell of your being. That ‘worth’ is a man-made measurement, because everything present in this world carries the spark of the Universe at its core. How can anything not be worthy? Worthy compared to what?
Bold in believing we are enough. More than enough. Powerful.
Bold in owning our work, our emotions, our results.
Our future.
Fortune favors the bold. Why? Because “the competition” is much, much less than we lead ourselves to believe. Because few people are bold enough to step up and deliver excellence. Because few people actually think they can. And then act like it.
Fortune favors the bold because the human spirit recognizes itself in boldness.
So be bold. And rise above the crowd.
creative inside out 