Overcoming Rejection, Overcoming Fear – Commit to Your Big Dream

People are going to tell you that you can’t do it.

The odds are against you. It’s nearly impossible to “break in.” Only such-and-such a percentage of people achieve it.

Don’t listen to them.

The only people who tell you this are those who haven’t achieved it.

This is your journey. You are the driver. And while these “voices” out there may or may not be concerned with your well-being, they actually have nothing to do with YOU.

Why do people caution others against hope? Why do they always tell you to be so careful? Why do they think you have to be told (like they have some legal obligation) why you shouldn’t expect too much from yourself, your dreams, your desires? Why does everyone think we all have to be so insulated from disappointment? As if not achieving a dream would be fatal or something?

This is a Game and You’re Ultimately Going to Be Fine

Dreams – achieved or not achieved, held on to, let go, changed, altered, dreamed bigger, dreamed differently – they’re not life and death matters, folks. They’re supposed to be pursuits of joy. You’re supposed to be lighthearted enough in life to enjoy the process and know that no matter what happens, this is a game and you’re ultimately going to be just fine.

Okay, okay. You could look at “facts.” You could look at numbers. Those numbers all apply to other people’s experiences. You don’t know the stories behind how those numbers came to be.

When it comes to your dream, you are the only one who can decide what you want. And I can tell you, very few people actually decide what they want. They linger in wishful, hoping, wouldn’t-it-be-wonderful-if-it-came-true land. That land is Indecision. And with indecision is lack of commitment.

Lack of Commitment Will Always Result in Not Achieving Your Dream 

Imagine this:

You’re the general of a strong, powerful army of well-trained, skilled troops. Each soldier has very specific expertise. They know how to work together to get the job done.

They’re all standing in a field in front of you. Ready.Waiting. Fully capable of going into action to achieve your goal.

You’re sitting in your tent (yes, this is ancient army imagery). You’re thinking how wonderful it would be if maybe, perhaps, gosh, you better not even dare imagine it – but wouldn’t it just be so great if you could really make it. If you could achieve this big, huge goal that everyone says you shouldn’t even reach for because, well, so few generals have ever achieved it. But what if you could? No, you shouldn’t even think it. Wouldn’t it be awesome though? Yeah. You can feel how awesome it would be….

Meanwhile, the troops are getting impatient.

Back to you: okay, maybe you could take at least a few steps in that direction. You emerge from your tent. All eyes rivet on you. Every body poised to jump into action.

Here’s what you say:

“I don’t know if I can achieve this. I mean, who am I to achieve this? I probably shouldn’t even bother. I’m not ready. I don’t have the experience. I can’t really be a ‘general’ can I? I mean, I need someone to tell me if I’m a general. A real one.” You turn and go back inside, the crowd sighs, look at each other, wonder about you. They wait.

You come out again.

“Okay, I’m going to give this a shot. If it gets too hard, I can always quit. No one will know. I probably won’t make it. Few people ever have. I won’t get my hopes up. Let’s take a few steps, see what happens.”

The soldiers groan with disappointment. But they’re good troops and they do exactly as you say. Half-heartedly.

They take a few steps, but no one feels any real commitment, because you haven’t committed. And what do they achieve? Exactly and only the few steps that you told them to do. That’s what you wanted, after all. That’s all you asked of them.

NOW, let’s change things up. You are sitting in your tent. Looking at your maps. Visioning exactly what you want to achieve in the end. You have a big goal – yes, you know it’s bigger than what most generals attempt, but you don’t care. That was their decision. Not yours. You believe in your troops. You believe in your ability to lead them to this goal.

They’re outside waiting for you. Excited, expectant.

You emerge from the tent. All eyes rivet on you. Every body poised to jump into action. Here’s what you say:

“This is what we’re going to do. This is what we are going to achieve. It’s big, it’s going to take everything we’ve got. People say it can’t be done. We’re going to do it. This is where we are going. I want every one of you in action. I expect you to do your best work. Make it happen. You have the skills to get this done. I trust you to know what to do, when to do it. If you have questions about where we’re going, come and ask me. I’ll remind you. We’re moving forward. There’s no turning back.”

Shouts of joy and excitement fill the air. The troops rally,  move out into action. They know exactly what to do, who to contact, what connections to make, what paths to go down and who to say “no” to because, in their expertise, they know a better, easier, and more impactful way to reach this goal. They do things in ways that surprise you, but you trust these troops and you keep your eye on the goal, not the individual steps they take. You hold the destination in sight. They report back to you with opportunities, connections, yes’s from supporters, no’s from detractors, detours around obstacles, paths they’ve taken that you would never have thought of.

True, sometimes they come back without progress to report. You wonder a bit if you’re going to achieve it after all. You remind them of your commitment and they continue using their skills to get you closer to your goal. They have perfect faith in you and you have perfect faith in them. This is who you are, this is where you’re going. You aren’t striving or pushing or pulling by yourself – you’re leading your troops, keeping your end destination in sight and adjusting course as you get feedback from them. You feel an ease, a faith, a confidence because you know that these troops come through.

You spend time visualizing what it feels like to already have achieved your goal – you can feel it, you live it out in your imagination now, you adapt your mindset to the  person you’ll be when you achieve it. You start to think from that new perspective. You make decisions based on that future you.You have full confidence that as you keep moving forward, you’re getting closer to your destination.

And you have the ease and peace of mind to enjoy the whole process of getting there. You even start to plan your next big campaign, because once you achieve this one, you know you’re going to want to head out on another journey, this time even bigger, more amazing and far-fetched.

Which General Are You? Decide & Commit

Feel the difference? Decision and commitment. It puts everything into full-fledged action. It gives your dreams the driving energy they need.

You decide which general you are. The troops are the Universe. They’re waiting outside your tent.

What are you going to ask them to do?

 

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About Britta Reque-Dragicevic

Inspiring, nurturing, and giving voice to the human spirit.

Posted on Saturday, in Inspiration, Internal, Motivation, Obstacles. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. I love this article. I’m writing a screenplay about a Asian American girl who wants to be a singer-songwriter, but first she has to work up the courage to focus on her dreams instead of her intended college major. She also has to balance expectations from her parents, her culture, and herself. What you wrote about is exactly the type of mental attitude you need to really succeed at what you want to do–it is exactly this mental struggle she has to overcome to begin to fulfill her dreams. I’ve gone through this myself. So glad to know I’m not alone in thinking this way.

    • So glad it resonated with you and your character, Jimmy. Always follow your dreams and your guidance, because it’s RIGHT for you. You can pass that along to your character, too. 🙂

  1. Pingback: Top 10 Ways We Give Away Our Power « creative inside out

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