If You’re Not Having Fun, What’s the Point?
Good question, isn’t it?
We writers and artists can get so focused on our creative goals, making money and working to manifest big dreams that we forget: art isn’t life and death.
We’re supposed to be enjoying this. And if we’re not, then we need to change how we relate to our work.
A writer known as Marco Dante (@marcodante) wrote honestly in a blog post about the frustration we’ve all felt when trying to put our work out into a marketplace fraught with subjective opinions, the changing whims of consumer trends and the heart-wrenching personal nature of rejection, hope, determination, and self-doubt.
Whether or not we generate our income from our creative lives, it does our souls good to step back and ask: am I enjoying this? (By joy, I mean an overall happiness that comes from the entirety of the process. Because we all have tedious parts of the process we don’t enjoy, but must complete.) If we’re not enjoying our creative work, what can we do to get that joy back? What needs to change?
It’s usually a matter of mentally re-framing our perspective. That, and taking a good look around us to remember what truly matters in our lives. Health, family, love, freedom, well-being, abundance, the very fact that we get to spend so much time on our creative pursuits. And, ultimately, the fact that as Beings of Source, we’re here to enjoy life and bless others as we do so.
It may be a change in the type of work we do, the medium, the genre, the outcomes we experience. We may need a different type of art to reinvigorate us or provide new challenges.
So, if you’re not having fun, find out why and decide to change what needs changing. Let go of the weight that has accumulated on you and start fresh.
And if your art just isn’t for you anymore, take a break or quit. This is your life, your story. You get to write it.
Weighing Opinions on Your Creative Work
Opinions. We each have one. We each think we’re right.
And that’s the beauty of our human race. The fact that we each have a unique and personal reaction to the world around us. A response that allows us to accept or reject, to decide how we prefer life and the multitude of experiences available.
But opinion in art is another thing. And who you listen to as you seek feedback on your work is something you should stop and ponder. What is difficult about getting feedback is that every person responds based on their unique preferences. To the artist, the work feels personal. It is personal because it comes through you.
So who do you listen to?
People you trust who have experience and expertise in your craft.
There’s a big difference between someone “liking” your work and someone who has the insight to know if its elements are fully developed.
There’s a big difference between someone “not liking” your work and telling you what needs to be changed to improve the quality of it.
The danger is in allowing too many voices to influence you.
The challenge is in learning how to trust your own opinion most.
Think of a film – any film you’ve seen. You either like it or you don’t. You have reasons for why you feel the way you do. But those reasons may have nothing to do with the quality of the film itself – the story, the acting, the directing – you may simply like or not like the film because it doesn’t resonate with you. It’s not your thing.
Allowing people who are not qualified to give suggestions on your work the authority to do so, is like you not liking that film and having the director change it because of your opinion. (Now if you’re in a position to do that, wonderful. But most of us are not.)
So work needs to be protected while it’s being developed. And feedback needs to be sought from a few trusted sources who can inspire you, who understand what your vision is and who can suggest actions that will strengthen the work for what it is intended to be and not just make it something that appeals to their tastes.
As artists, we need to understand that when our work is made visible there are going to be people who won’t like it, it won’t fit their tastes or interest them. They will judge it as bad, poorly done, not get it or simply dismiss it – regardless of the actual quality. They simply won’t like it or you.
That sounds logical. But stop and really think about it. We’re wired to seek approval. We’re wired to desire that other people like us and everything about us. We squirm when people don’t. It hurts. No matter how much we tell ourselves not to let it. It hurts.
So going out into the world with our work is something we need to prepare ourselves for – and not just once, but every time we make ourselves visible. We need to know and realize that people are responding to their preferences about our work (and us). Even in industry awards, judgment is subjective and biased. There is no “God” who can tell you once and for all that your work is what you want it to be.
Public opinion has nothing to do with the work itself (or you).
Read that line again.
Now, it’s true that we must untie our ego from the work. Because it’s not about us; it’s all about the work. It’s about our performance. Not our souls.
We are curators, trustees, channelers – the work flows through us, but it is not us and we are not it. We are entrusted with bringing it forth and presenting it to the world. Just as children we’ve nurtured and equipped to go out into the world and make a life for themselves – the work is not responsible for ensuring that its parents have a life of their own. Our work is not responsible for our emotional well-being. It simply is what it is.
So, as you seek feedback on your work, ponder these things.
As you put your work out there, ponder these things.
And know that ultimately, to the degree of control you have over your work, you are the only one who can decide if the work is what it is meant to be. And that takes courage. The mark of a professional is the willingness to change the work if it truly serves the work, and the ability to discern when it doesn’t.
Because there will always be a different way the work could be done, the story told, the song sung, the painting painted, the performance given.
So choose carefully. And take ownership of your work.
And take these wise words from a man who lives them, as your mantra:
“Always be resolute in the things that touch your heart. Defend them, promote them, nurture them. Love takes courage.”
Abundance or Scarcity: Is the Choice Yours?
The bottom line is this: It’s All Story. Abundance is a Story. Scarcity is a Story. Yes, there are facts supporting both of them, but remember it isn’t the facts that shape our lives—it’s our Stories.
– Victoria Castle, The Scarcity Trance
How will you change your Story in 2013?
Happy New Year!!
Responding to What Moves Us – How to Create Change
This holiday season finds us in a mix of tumultuous world events, tragedies and uncertainties. There’s anger, frustration, blame and arrogance over the particular problems that have pierced through our day-to-day lives and rifled our awareness. We are roused to action or dowsed into hopelessness. We see and feel the pain that gets through our filters and finds a way to touch us. That pain might be for Newtown. It might be for the children dying in Afghanistan. It might be for the Aids victims in Africa. It might be for our own families, friends, coworkers. Or for people whom we know suffer deeply, but remain invisible and misunderstood to most.
Regardless of what it is, what touches us, does so for a reason.
We are connected in different ways to different pain and circumstances around the world. This connectedness spans across space and time, culture and experience. It bridges centuries of lifetimes, past lives, and springs from a connection between spirits. Those connections may have been formed long before we arrived for this present term on earth.
We are affected by the things that have our name on them.
How or why our name is written on them we may not know. It may not make sense. The connections may seem illogical. After all, who knows why a heart responds to a tragedy a world away, but is not moved by the murder victim reported on the local nightly news? Who knows what it is that calls out to us, sometimes so sharply, with such conviction, that it motivates us to actually do something? Whatever that something might be.
Some may say we are simply inundated with reports of all that’s wrong around the world and that we self-filter because we cannot bear the weight of it all.
I think it’s more than that.
I think what moves us does so because as humans, we are one. But at the same time, we are not all called to respond to the same tragedy or situations.
We are called to listen to what moves us and respond to that.
Not carry the whole world. Just our part of it. The parts that have our name written on them. And to trust that as we do our part, other souls are doing theirs. We are one. One being, moving in different forms. Tending to our corners of the garden. As you carry your part of the world, remember to focus on what you do want to see happen. Don’t fight against. Fighting against is never as effective as fighting for something. We get more of what we focus on. We experience more of what we focus on. So choose your focus carefully.
As I’m writing this, the thought keeps coming back: Yes, but what about making a BIG difference? What about stepping out boldly, taking big risks, sacrificing, doing something amazing that changes the course of millions of lives? What about that? Shouldn’t you be advocating that?
Fifteen years ago, I would have said “absolutely.” But now, like so many, I’m a wife, mother, teacher, writer, carrying various threads of a well-woven life that cannot be dropped by a single passion without implicating and altering the lives of others. Living a life that makes a difference is no longer as simple as giving up everything you own and moving to a far away culture and serving there. It’s far more complicated than that. As it is for most of us who are married and have children.
I’m not sure, either, that anyone who did change the course of millions of lives started out to do so. That change came because one person chose to live their passion, responded to what moved them, and let the momentum of one small action after another, one risk after another, build until millions of lives were engaged and touched.
Should you give up your job, move to another culture? Maybe. If that’s what you feel clearly led to do.
Should you not do something just because you can’t do it “big” enough?
No. That’s why change starts with us. Within us. In our thoughts. Our minds. Our feelings.
In us responding to what moves us.
Change has to be personal for it to be effective. That’s how we human beings work.
One step at a time. One action by one person at a time.
When Mother Teresa was asked, “How do you love the whole world?” She replied, “One person at a time.”
That’s how we change the world.
What Parents Can Do After Newtown Shooting
I was going to cancel this week’s blog post, out of respect for the families of Newtown Elementary. Silence seemed the only appropriate thing to offer at this solemn time.
But maybe silence isn’t what is needed.
You and I are people of words. Words create our worlds. And words, in thought, emotion and expression, are what precede action.
It was words of outrage, shock and vengeance that poured through hearts into social networks Friday, only to be mostly replaced Saturday with trivialities and holiday cheer. Does that mean we’re fickle and don’t care? No. It’s a reality of human nature that while tragedy moves the hearts of the masses, at the end of the day it only truly effects those involved in the events.
But for that one day, we all became parents. Determined to stop young men with guns from walking freely and unnoticed right into our schools and opening fire. We lashed out as parents, too, in reaction to the reality that it’s possible to wake up to a normal day and by mid-morning have your whole world obliterated.
We spewed fury at guns and those who want them. We felt the unease of knowing more than anything we must make sure our children are safe and the subtle apprehension that hesitates (even though we hate that we hesitate) at what it would mean to be an American if we no longer have the right to bear arms and defend ourselves. (Our psyche still carries the emotions of a threat we aren’t sure exists anymore – for in the 1770s the right to bear arms was a right to stand up against an oppressive government, not local criminals.) We want the violence to stop. But we aren’t sure if gun control will make criminals less capable, or more creative.
For the sad reality of the fact is guns are a means to an end. But they are not the mind and heart behind that end.
A human being is. And while we can take guns away (and yes, I do believe that will create a safer environment, while at the same time drive the black market value of guns up, creating a new set of problems), we cannot wave a magic wand that will nullify the intentions of psychologically disturbed young men.
So what do we do to keep our kids safe in a precariously unsafe world?
One, we make it damn harder for armed individuals to walk into school zones. We can control who enters, who leaves. We can spend the money to make these schools as safe as our airports. We can create an inconvenience with x-rays and metal detectors at all schools – not just a select few. We can allocate budget for armed guards. We can create secure school facilities that make it damn near impossible for someone to walk in and start shooting.
Because right now, at most small town schools, you can walk in and no one even notices. I have often thought of this when I’ve entered the main school doors at the local elementary (which are right in front of the open cafeteria often filled with a hundred kids) and all that exists is a sign saying visitors must report to the principal’s office. That’s it. No adults in sight. The principal’s office is a good 300 feet down a hallway. Anyone who enters could go anywhere in that school and be undetected. And this is not unusual for small-town America.
We rage at guns, we rage at what’s wrong with our society that we have mentally disturbed youth who target schools – but sometimes we make things far more complicated than they really are. Sometimes the answer is as simple as locking doors, hiring guards, screening every person who enters.
Sometimes we fail because of the simple adage that “all that is necessary for evil to triumph is that good men do nothing.”
Does better security solve the bigger problem of why someone shoots children? No.
We can’t solve that problem. No amount of mental health care, counseling, therapy – none of it will cure what’s missing from the psyche of individuals like this.
Can we take guns away and make them far harder to obtain? Yes.
But that still won’t prevent someone determined to kill from finding a way to kill.
We can debate this issue of gun control and school safety until we’re blue in the face, but that won’t make our schools safer today, now, as our kids get off the bus and walk into class.
Sometimes what we need to do is what we can do now.
creative inside out 