People are going to tell you that you can’t do it.

The odds are against you. It’s nearly impossible to “break in.” Only such-and-such a percentage of people achieve it.

Don’t listen to them.

The only people who tell you this are those who haven’t achieved it.

This is your journey. You are the driver. And while these “voices” out there may or may not be concerned with your well-being, they actually have nothing to do with YOU.

Why do people caution others against hope? Why do they always tell you to be so careful? Why do they think you have to be told (like they have some legal obligation) why you shouldn’t expect too much from yourself, your dreams, your desires? Why does everyone think we all have to be so insulated from disappointment? As if not achieving a dream would be fatal or something?

This is a Game and You’re Ultimately Going to Be Fine

Dreams – achieved or not achieved, held on to, let go, changed, altered, dreamed bigger, dreamed differently – they’re not life and death matters, folks. They’re supposed to be pursuits of joy. You’re supposed to be lighthearted enough in life to enjoy the process and know that no matter what happens, this is a game and you’re ultimately going to be just fine.

Okay, okay. You could look at “facts.” You could look at numbers. Those numbers all apply to other people’s experiences. You don’t know the stories behind how those numbers came to be.

When it comes to your dream, you are the only one who can decide what you want. And I can tell you, very few people actually decide what they want. They linger in wishful, hoping, wouldn’t-it-be-wonderful-if-it-came-true land. That land is Indecision. And with indecision is lack of commitment.

Lack of Commitment Will Always Result in Not Achieving Your Dream 

Imagine this:

You’re the general of a strong, powerful army of well-trained, skilled troops. Each soldier has very specific expertise. They know how to work together to get the job done.

They’re all standing in a field in front of you. Ready.Waiting. Fully capable of going into action to achieve your goal.

You’re sitting in your tent (yes, this is ancient army imagery). You’re thinking how wonderful it would be if maybe, perhaps, gosh, you better not even dare imagine it – but wouldn’t it just be so great if you could really make it. If you could achieve this big, huge goal that everyone says you shouldn’t even reach for because, well, so few generals have ever achieved it. But what if you could? No, you shouldn’t even think it. Wouldn’t it be awesome though? Yeah. You can feel how awesome it would be….

Meanwhile, the troops are getting impatient.

Back to you: okay, maybe you could take at least a few steps in that direction. You emerge from your tent. All eyes rivet on you. Every body poised to jump into action.

Here’s what you say:

“I don’t know if I can achieve this. I mean, who am I to achieve this? I probably shouldn’t even bother. I’m not ready. I don’t have the experience. I can’t really be a ‘general’ can I? I mean, I need someone to tell me if I’m a general. A real one.” You turn and go back inside, the crowd sighs, look at each other, wonder about you. They wait.

You come out again.

“Okay, I’m going to give this a shot. If it gets too hard, I can always quit. No one will know. I probably won’t make it. Few people ever have. I won’t get my hopes up. Let’s take a few steps, see what happens.”

The soldiers groan with disappointment. But they’re good troops and they do exactly as you say. Half-heartedly.

They take a few steps, but no one feels any real commitment, because you haven’t committed. And what do they achieve? Exactly and only the few steps that you told them to do. That’s what you wanted, after all. That’s all you asked of them.

NOW, let’s change things up. You are sitting in your tent. Looking at your maps. Visioning exactly what you want to achieve in the end. You have a big goal – yes, you know it’s bigger than what most generals attempt, but you don’t care. That was their decision. Not yours. You believe in your troops. You believe in your ability to lead them to this goal.

They’re outside waiting for you. Excited, expectant.

You emerge from the tent. All eyes rivet on you. Every body poised to jump into action. Here’s what you say:

“This is what we’re going to do. This is what we are going to achieve. It’s big, it’s going to take everything we’ve got. People say it can’t be done. We’re going to do it. This is where we are going. I want every one of you in action. I expect you to do your best work. Make it happen. You have the skills to get this done. I trust you to know what to do, when to do it. If you have questions about where we’re going, come and ask me. I’ll remind you. We’re moving forward. There’s no turning back.”

Shouts of joy and excitement fill the air. The troops rally,  move out into action. They know exactly what to do, who to contact, what connections to make, what paths to go down and who to say “no” to because, in their expertise, they know a better, easier, and more impactful way to reach this goal. They do things in ways that surprise you, but you trust these troops and you keep your eye on the goal, not the individual steps they take. You hold the destination in sight. They report back to you with opportunities, connections, yes’s from supporters, no’s from detractors, detours around obstacles, paths they’ve taken that you would never have thought of.

True, sometimes they come back without progress to report. You wonder a bit if you’re going to achieve it after all. You remind them of your commitment and they continue using their skills to get you closer to your goal. They have perfect faith in you and you have perfect faith in them. This is who you are, this is where you’re going. You aren’t striving or pushing or pulling by yourself – you’re leading your troops, keeping your end destination in sight and adjusting course as you get feedback from them. You feel an ease, a faith, a confidence because you know that these troops come through.

You spend time visualizing what it feels like to already have achieved your goal – you can feel it, you live it out in your imagination now, you adapt your mindset to the  person you’ll be when you achieve it. You start to think from that new perspective. You make decisions based on that future you.You have full confidence that as you keep moving forward, you’re getting closer to your destination.

And you have the ease and peace of mind to enjoy the whole process of getting there. You even start to plan your next big campaign, because once you achieve this one, you know you’re going to want to head out on another journey, this time even bigger, more amazing and far-fetched.

Which General Are You? Decide & Commit

Feel the difference? Decision and commitment. It puts everything into full-fledged action. It gives your dreams the driving energy they need.

You decide which general you are. The troops are the Universe. They’re waiting outside your tent.

What are you going to ask them to do?

1. Saying “It’s too hard” instead of “It’s challenging.”

This may seem trivial, but words really do matter. And if you are a writer, you know that all too well. The meaning of a word and it’s perceived meaning can change the whole story. Words have that power over your life, too.  Say these two sentences to yourself: “It’s too hard.” “It’s challenging.” Which one feels like there’s no hope? Which one feels as if you can do it, it’s just not as easy as you thought it’d be?

That’s right. You know what else? “It’s too hard” is the last thing we say before we start toying with the real possibility of quitting. Our brains know this. “It’s too hard” is a trigger for “I can’t do this. I’m giving up.”

“It’s challenging” also means that it’s not easy, but it doesn’t trigger our brains in the same way. “Challenge” poses a choice and plays to our sense of wanting to win. So, next time your creative work isn’t easy, tell yourself “It’s challenging” and do not say “It’s too hard.”

2. Waiting for someone else to validate your work.

As a creator, only you know the intent of what it is you’re creating. Only you can judge if you’ve created what you started out to create. You can get feedback and should – from credible, experienced professionals who do not see you as a competitor, but as a valuable client and colleague in the industry. Be willing to pay for quality service.

But you alone should be the final judge of your work. We all need a second set of eyes – to give us perspectives we can’t see, to point out areas that need clarification or improvement. Yet, at the end of the day, we have to value our own instincts on our work more than anyone else’s. So, if you are waiting for someone else to validate your work and declare you an artist, stop. You decide who you are.

3. Not putting your own soul into your work.

This one comes down to motivation. Why do you create? If your first answer is to make money or be famous, then you need to realize that your work will never be as fulfilling as it could be. People will never be as moved by work that does not connect them to its creator’s soul. We see “formula” work all the time – and if this is what you want to do, there’s a place for you. But just be aware that “formula” work cannot stir the human spirit as work that comes from the soul.

Don’t make an excuse for yourself on this either. Just because you are creating work that someone has commissioned you to do, doesn’t mean you can’t go into the work, find what connects to your soul and bring yourself into it. If you do, you’ll bring us that magic that we all recognize, but can never define. And we need that. We need you to put yourself into it, to connect to us, to make us feel and remember our unique human journey.

4. Being desperate and assuming.

An actor the other day mentioned they had expertise in a non-creative job field that I am interested in for a script I’m working on. So, I asked if this person would be willing to tell me more about it. The person’s response? Only if they could be included in the storyline! As a writer, I have no control over casting, so I’m not sure what this person was thinking I could promise. But, I rescinded my request. Why? Because this person’s first reaction was “what’s in it for me?” It got me thinking about how easy it is sometimes to act desperate when we are living by fear or scarcity. People can smell desperateness. And no one is attracted to it.

No matter how badly you want something, if you come off as desperate or so fearful that you won’t get what you want (and respond with self-interest only), people will pass you by and move on to the next person.

Why? Because people react to you by the way you make them feel.

And there are always other people who will make them feel positive, happy to be involved, cared for, at ease and connected to why they got into this business in the first place.

Let that person be you.

5. Not caring how you treat other people – even people who don’t “deserve” respect.

This one is about your own well-being. It’s about being a person of integrity, about how you choose the way people will experience you. It’s not about the other person.

You can choose to react to people in such a way that they will never be harmed for having known you. And that goes to always respecting the human spirit in people. Even people who live by fear, selfishness, and pain. People who put you down or belittle your work, or say nasty things about you. People who can’t see the “big” picture in life and are tied to their limiting beliefs.

It’s about being generous.

Always be generous and give people a measure of respect, even when they don’t deserve it.

Why? Because you will know that you have not caused harm. Their spirit won’t be worse off for having interacted with you. They may have issues and pain that they don’t know how to resolve that come off in a variety of fear-based, self-protective behaviors. But, how you respond is not about them. It’s about you.

And you have the power to make a positive difference. At the end of the day, that’s how you find meaning in your creative life.

It’s not to say that you become a doormat or let other people use or abuse you. No. You have boundaries and you make choices not to work with them, not to engage, not to be caught into their fears. And if you do have to work with them? You still make choices about how they will experience you. Because, like I said, this is about you.

6. Not knowing when to turn a deal down.

There’s a lot of pressure to accept deals, to be able to say you are getting paid, produced, marketed, distributed etc. And, if you’re a creative professional, selling your work is how you make your living. But, is any deal better than no deal?

I don’t think so. One of the lessons I’ve learned is that it’s important to know when to turn down a deal. To say no to a client, a job, a deal, a person that just doesn’t feel right. And if you are paying attention to your inner guidance, you know when the warning bells sound off. Listen to them.

Every deal is ultimately about the people who make them, the people you’ll work or collaborate with. If you don’t feel a sense of certainty and ‘rightness’ about them, it’s probably not right for you. (Don’t confuse this with being scared at the possibility of being stretched by a new or bigger opportunity – we all get scared then, and that’s healthy.) But when your gut tells you something’s not right, you can say no. You can pass on a deal.

You can trust that the right one will come along or that if it never does, you at least made a decision that was right for your spirit.

Don’t entangle yourself in situations that are going to fray your spirit or your integrity or your preference for doing business in a way that nurtures the human spirit instead of tears it down.

This is your creative life. Live it well.