Mike Dooley, founder of Totally Unique Thoughts (tut.com) wrote the following “Top 10 Ways People Give Away Their Power” in the latest Notes from the Universe e-mail I received. If you’re not familiar with Dooley’s work, I encourage you to check it out. I want to comment on these Top 10 because they really do have the power to leave you disengaged and feeling helpless to actively create your life. (By the way, you’re creating your life all of the time – it’s just a matter of “what” you are creating. And “what” you are creating comes down to what you are predominantly choosing to think, believe, envision and expect.)
So, let’s dive into these a bit more:
Top 10 ways people give away their power:
1. Asking others what they should do.
You know in your heart, if you stop and really listen, what you are to do. You know the right path for you, for your work, for your characters. Asking for feedback or advice is beneficial only to the degree that it opens you up to see things from another’s perspective – but no one else can ever see from your inner knowledge. So do ask, but own your role as the creator and know that you are the only one who can decide.
Keep in mind, too, that everyone has their own opinion about you and your work. Don’t let others’ opinions become your reality. Take what can benefit you, discard what will not. It’s too easy and we all do this – to value other people’s opinions more than we value our own. Yet, in the end, our opinion is what ultimately matters. Own your opinion and your power.
2. Thinking God decides who gets what.
We create how we experience life by what we think is possible and impossible for us. Focus on what you do want, not on what you don’t want. Start asking “what ifs” about all the good things and big dreams you have. What if it were easy? What if is happened fast? What if I really could achieve this? That creates space for your mind to start considering the possibility of it happening and the more you dwell on it, the more energy you give it and the more it will manifest in your life.
3. Worrying about how their dream will come true.
How is not what we need to focus on. Remember the troops in my general analogy? They represent the Universe and they know how to work the miracles needed to achieve your dreams. Don’t worry about the hows. Focus on the destination and the actual steps you can do now to step closer to that destination. Take Toyota’s mantra “Choose any direction, as long as it’s forward” – if you haven’t heard that from them, it shows up in Closed Captioning at the end of their commercials.
4. Thinking they have dues to pay.
The only dues you have to pay is the time it takes you to let go of limiting beliefs. Start believing that you can create your dreams. Start challenging all those thoughts that tell you you can’t or that make fear seem more powerful than you are.
5. Attaching to unimportant details and outcomes.
Focus on the destination. Keep your end goal in sight, imagine what it’s like to be in that space. Live from that space. Don’t get hung up on the little details. As Dooley says: “It’s not the steps that matter, but the path. And the path will take care of itself, when you keep focused on your destination.”
Open your mind up to allow your dream to become reality in the way that it needs to. Don’t try to control all the details or how it happens. Let it come to you in the magical way that it can and will.
6. Believing in soul mates.
This is a tricky limiting belief if you interpret it to mean that there is only one person or solution out there right for you. If that’s what you believe, it closes you off to the possibility of letting the Universe choose someone who will love you in a healthy, enjoyable way. Believing that there’s only one person out there for you – or one producer, director, buyer, agent – is based in fear.
However, when you allow the Universe to make the connections and you trust that you are being guided, then you often will find that the person who comes into your life will be a soul mate – someone just right for you.
7. Thinking karma or spiritual contracts are absolute.
The only absolutes in this life are the moment of birth and the moment of death. Everything else can change, because we perceive experiences through our thoughts. If we change our perspective on something, we change how we feel and when we change how we feel, we change our behavior and that leads to new and different ways of experiencing life. It’s our interpretation of experiences that creates our perception of events.
8. Fear of anything, especially falling in love.
You can say no to fear. Fear doesn’t like to hear that, but it’s true. You can look it in the face and choose to say no. You’re not going to stop feeling afraid first and then say no. You have to choose to say no to fear first and then feelings of fear will dissipate. And remember, fear is often the child in you trying to protect itself from change.
9. Waiting for their ducks to line up before acting.
Your ducks will line up after you take action. It’s easier to direct the course of a moving object than a still one. Let me tell you this, too: the “ducks” in your life are waiting for you to act before they line up. You’re the creator, remember?
10. Choosing to be unhappy.
“Most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be,” said Abraham Lincoln. Happiness is a choice. Choose to be happy and the feelings will follow. Don’t wait for something else or someone else to make you feel happy. It’s not anyone’s job to make you feel happy. You’re responsible for it.
So choose happiness. Choose faith. Choose trust. Choose to say no to fear. Choose to take action. Choose to listen to your own guidance. Choose to create the life you want.